WHY DO SPOUSES CHEAT?

why do spouses cheat?There are a few answers to the question “Why do spouses cheat?”  There is not one in particular that stands out among the others, but they all fall under the same premise as it is unacceptable to the contract of the union you both committed to.1. One of the causes to infidelity is there might be an addiction to sex. Depending how the addict was exposed to sex in their early adolescence can determine how they perceive sex in the most general form. Is it about objectification, pornography, guilt and relief for example. Has there been a history of child abuse or child molestation that is the culprit to acting out and the use of sex as the tool?

2.Another reason is the “slip up”. Sloppily, selfishly, out of control situation that allowed this infidelity to occur. Stupidly getting too drunk at a Office Christmas party and going home with the administration assistant, or co-worker or something just as humiliating and wrong. Hopefully, the hangover and the regret was enough to learn a valuable lesson.
3.Another one, is revenge, and revenge is never a good reason, “ well I think he may be having an affair, and so shouldn’t I” Why lower yourself to a lower level, this is never the answer.
4.A common and often the one that can be avoided, of course all of them can, but this one is the result of two of you self destructing your relationship together and that is, fighting, avoiding and withdrawing from affection, complimenting one another, loving one another, being a couple in the best possible way together. Never dismissing, or taking each other for granted.  Bottom  line, meet each other’s needs and make sure you both express what you want and what you need, and then do it. Sometimes couples who haven’t been intimate in a while or it’s infrequent may begin to feel awkward, almost incestuous. 
There is hope. Sex experts suggest that as a couple who still share romantic feelings and respect each other but have fallen away from a sexual relationship can remedy this problem by taking the NIKE add line “JUST DO IT”. Make it a special night, compliment each other. Look into each other’s eyes and tell your partner what you appreciate most about them, what you are grateful for. This help makes a connection that can lead to a romantic feeling and arousal, The best ting to do is to allow the mood to emerge, and stay out of your head but into your body and soul.  Bottom line, is if you and your partner meet each other’s needs there is no reason to stray.

The Mediation and Family Counseling Group