An Unhappy Marriage Can Take Years Off Your Life

Early divorce happens within the first 6 years of marriage.unhappy marriage

When the marriage gets off to a rocky start and many do because many couples do not know the depth of what makes a relationship last or what makes it strong. Given the possibility that these early divorces are the result of unclear understandings, lack of deep connection during bonding phase, the notion that each individual may have had other reasons for wanting a relationship. In other words, partners or one partner may have considered being in a relationship for reasons that were not about love but fulfilling another agenda. Bear in mind if this were the case and maybe not even conscious the relationship can head down a dark road  and focus on the negative aspects of the partner, with criticising, defenseness, contempt and stonewalling (Gottman)and therefore  the marriage has 90% chance of failure.
The next likely time to divorce is around the 16 year mark. Couples have not resolved past conflicts and hold on to them, slowly deteriorating the communication and trust, the couplehood has not thrived, and becomes unfulfilling.
some couples continue to stay married but are unhappy. You may have seen these couples in settings such as restaurants, when neither is talking and alot of dead air is between them. Some may say a couple who can sit quiet and enjoy a meal with out the chatter can be in a healthy relationship and feel so comfortable that they don’t need to talk, this is true.then there are the couples that I am referring to where they are not connected but go throught the motions of staying married. perhaps for security, financial or emotional.
If divorce is the only option for happiness, it’s best to end and move on. People in healthy relationships live 8 years longer just in the good health and well being, those who are in unhappy marriages  cut their life by 10 years.  Healthy or unhealthy which one do you want to be?


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