Is It The Right Time To Marry?

Right time to marryWhen is it the right time to marry? This is a question many do not ask themselves but for most couples this is an essential question.  When is the time of your relationship when you feel that you have gotten to know as much about each other as possible?

Can you imagine living with them the rest of your life? Then this can be a very exciting time. But what if…

You’re not sure and even though you have been living together for while you still feel that it’s not time to commit to forever? Then conscious coupling advises wait to marry, because there is a reason you are hesitating.

Did you know that the divorce is higher for couples who live together first?  If they don’t have a plan to marry but over time they decide to marry? It sounds ludicrous because you think couples are getting married because they now have the idea of what to expect and they love each other enough to tie the knot and so on. However many couples move in together for many reasons and it may not because they are in love with each other but for the reasons of financial since much of the time they are together and it just makes sense to combine the overhead into one household, remember young people may not make enough to live on their own. Other reasons may be because the idea of playing house appeals to both and therefore why not try living together. Another dangerous reason may be because one may want to keep a close eye on the other and the best way is to live under the same roof thereby maintaining a connection without the other having the freedom to stray or perhaps work toward the possibility of marriage but that could be a hidden agenda only on one parties end.

The divorce rate for couples who cohabitate (see our chapter in Conscious Coupling on cohabitation) couples become complacent in their relationship search for THE ONE and subconsciously settle for THIS ONE they are with much like the song “if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with” The one you’re playing house with may not share many of the important values that in the long run are going to make a marriage successful. The one you are living with may be one that you enjoy having fun and taking care of certain adult aspects but not the ones that will matter later. So this still creates the dilemma on how does one know if this is the one they should marry? The answer lies with the other people in your life. Listen to those who may know better who have lived longer.   Arranged marriages are mores of some other culture. However arranged marriages last longer because the elders have a sensibility about long lasting marriages much more than a young couple who have not been through the throws of marriage. In the elders’ eyes they see a couple who are more suitable for each other  beyond the love and lust, that can fade over time Taking a little advice from them can guide you to making a very important life decision.

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Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at www.mediationandcounseling.com, info@mediationandcounseling.com or 1-888-281-2725.

Dana and Don's book, Conscious Coupling, and gain insight on saving your marriage.
Read about what Dana and Don say about relationships in their book, Conscious Coupling

 

The Mediation and Family Counseling Group