Infidelity is not about Sex

Infidelity is not about sexSex is not necessarily the reason one spouse strays. It does often times, end up in sex.

Infidelity is the result of many reasons such as a bad marriage and the outlet is the company of someone who makes you feel special, validated, desired. If you are feeling lonely in your marriage or disrespected among other negative feelings and just cannot decide to make the transition out of the marriage, then the opportunity to stray can take over. The ease of infidelity is not always easy. It’s often met with guilt while at the same time it’s a relief and a feeling of being alive again. The excitement of someone to talk to and share your feelings with and be open and playful when in your own marriage just is not happening, can give you a renewed elation. It can be very confusing as well, and met with many mixed feelings.

You may love your spouse but the relationship has become stale, disconnected and neither one of you know how to re-connect without feeling completely vulnerable, inadequate or even frustrated. The fear of bringing the reality of your unhappiness may be met with surprise and anger from your spouse. He or she may feel unappreciated in hearing that you are disenchanted. Your spouse may also agree with you and admit themselves that they too have felt removed and unmotivated in the marriage. This would be a good time to bring it to counseling or discuss your marital disappointment and together do something about it to prevent an infidelity or stray. It takes courage to share with your spouse that the marriage has become somewhat lost and no longer a priority. This is normal for many couples, it just needs to be re-booted.

Now, if you cannot be honest and vulnerable in your marriage and not be able to share this very important problem, then the relationship may need more work and that would be exploring the level of intimacy and trust. Once this is open then the dynamic in the relationship can be discussed. The point is Do Not Give Up.

Contact us for a FREE Consulation on our marriage analysis program to see if your marriage can be saved after infidelity.

Sex is not necessarily the reason one spouse strays. It does often times, end up in sex.

Infidelity is the result of many reasons such as a bad marriage and the outlet is the company of someone who makes you feel special, validated, desired. If you are feeling lonely in your marriage or disrespected among other negative feelings and just cannot decide to make the transition out of the marriage, then the opportunity to stray can take over. The ease of infidelity is not always easy. It’s often met with guilt while at the same time it’s a relief and a feeling of being alive again. The excitement of someone to talk to and share your feelings with and be open and playful when in your own marriage just is not happening, can give you a renewed elation. It can be very confusing as well, and met with many mixed feelings.

You may love your spouse but the relationship has become stale, disconnected and neither one of you know how to re-connect without feeling completely vulnerable, inadequate or even frustrated. The fear of bringing the reality of your unhappiness may be met with surprise and anger from your spouse. He or she may feel unappreciated in hearing that you are disenchanted. Your spouse may also agree with you and admit themselves that they too have felt removed and unmotivated in the marriage. This would be a good time to bring it to counseling or discuss your marital disappointment and together do something about it to prevent an infidelity or stray. It takes courage to share with your spouse that the marriage has become somewhat lost and no longer a priority. This is normal for many couples, it just needs to be re-booted.

Now, if you cannot be honest and vulnerable in your marriage and not be able to share this very important problem, then the relationship may need more work and that would be exploring the level of intimacy and trust. Once this is open then the dynamic in the relationship can be discussed. The point is Do Not Give Up.

Free eBook to help you decide about your marriage

Contact us for a FREE Consultation on our marriage analysis program to see if your marriage can be saved after infidelity.

Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at www.mediationandcounseling.com, info@mediationandcounseling.com or 1-888-281-2725.

Dana and Don's book, Conscious Coupling, and gain insight on saving your marriage.
Read about what Dana and Don say about relationships in their book, Conscious Coupling.

 

The Mediation and Family Counseling Group