Should Couples Stay Married For The Kids

should couples stay married for the childrenIf you bicker a lot and children witness that hostility then what do you think? Do you feel that children can get use to the combativeness among the two of you and surmise that this is who their parents are? Do you feel that the home should be a place of harmony and understanding without conflict so children feel safe in their home? Do you think a little of both is okay and children will thrive no matter what? These are important questions for you and your partner to think about and maybe even talk about. Often times couples will split up upon the incentive to keep the children away from the crossfire of anger and hostility. A parent who is very concerned about the child imitating the anger, or feeling the angst when his or her parents are arguing will consider divorce to protect the children. There is some safety in this.
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In times, the one caretaker feels that they need to divorce for the safety of the children but not admitting it is for the safety of themselves as well. If this is the case and the caregiver/spouse fears they are in danger then this can be considered a domestic violence case. This can be much more of a dangerous situation for the spouse and if he or she vacates the home with the children then the remaining spouse can retaliate and petition for kidnapping. Rarely does this occur in the court system, however, when the emotions and hostility are heightened under threat people will do things they never would under calm situations. If there is a danger to the children witnessing Domestic Violence in the home then all protective factors must be put in place. Children should never be witnesses. Studies have shown that children who witness DV have a failure to thrive. They are traumatized, they may even side with the predator or side with the victim, either way the child is emotionally effected.  If these situations appear to be happening in the home then professional help is needed to assess the situation and then make the appropriate decisions for everyone involved. The predator needs counseling the victim needs counseling and the children need support and protection.  Should couples stay married for the kids?

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Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at www.mediationandcounseling.com, info@mediationandcounseling.com or 1-888-281-2725.

 

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